This is great!

Who should play Cassie Hack?

Hack/Slash is a great comic book series. It really is fucking good. Sure, it's not going to change the genre or re-write comic book history, but it's a hell of a lot of fun and needs to be made into a movie or HBO series. It could easily work in a series format, since the stories are pretty cut and dry each and every issue. That kind of storytelling would make a long running gory, sexy and funny series which would fit perfectly alongside shows like "True Blood". If that show can make it, this show would surely find it's niche crowd, that is if it was written as well as "True Blood".

I've just finished the 2nd Omnibus and now, even more than before, I have been convinced this really needs to be made. But the whole thing is, who is going to play the role? We can say an unknown, but if it's made into a movie, you almost have to go with an established actress, otherwise it's going to flop. You need someone to draw in the audience. However if it's made into a series for HBO or Showtime, then going with an unknown would be the best bet. This role calls for nudity, lesbian sex, lots of gore and a very troubled soul. Not to mention the girl needs to be young.

At first I thought, as did Ryan, that Eliza Dushku would be perfect for the role. And yes, if this were 2003, she would be perfect. She's tough, she can kick some major ass and she can act. Then there's Jessica Alba. Now I know what you're thinking, but she did play some badasses in the past, she played "Dark Angel" and was pretty decent at it. The show was terrible and the writing was even worse, but she was decent in it. She definitely has the body to pull off the Cassie Hack character. However, she's a little old now. I mean she still might be able to do it, but if it's not made in like the next two years, she'll be too old. No one would believe her to be 20 years old anymore. So she's out...well sort of.

Then there is Kristen Stewart for the role. As far as looking at her goes from Twilight and shit, yeah she doesn't seem to fit the role too well. However once you see her in "The Runaways" and see how tough she can actually play, well maybe it's not that far off. Does she have the body to pull it off? Yeah I guess she does. Cassie Hack doesn't have to be super hot, she just needs to be hot in a punk rock type way, which Kristen Stewart looks like at times. I am not sure she could pull off the acting needed, but then again I'll argue that point later on when I mention the obvious choice.

Of course we can't forget Megan Fox. She looks the part almost perfectly. She's kind of a tough ass and she's definitely young enough. I don't think she's afraid to show off her body and have some decent lesbian sex. She's basically perfect for the role, but can she act deep enough for this character. Cassie Hack is damaged goods man, she's been fucked emotionally her whole life. If the movie is written correctly and I believe that Tom Seely would never let it be written poorly, then Megan Fox would have her work cut out for her. Since she's model perfect for the role, she should be given the chance. She might have a "Heath Ledger" moment. We all thought that was going to be a disaster and we were wrong. He was brilliant as the Joker. Megan might be able to pull off Cassie Hack.

Another thing going for Megan Fox playing Cassie Hack is that she'll draw in the crowds. She's hot, lets be honest, and she'll sell this movie. Picture the movie poster now, with her in a short skirt, showing her panties, holding a baseball bat with nails in it. That would sell that movie to like every teenage raging hormone case and fans of the comic book. What we need is a movie that sticks to it's guns and holds true to the comic book, yet appeals to everyone. I think this kind of horror film would work. It's funny, dark, sexy as hell and full of lesbian sexual thoughts, what can be wrong with that?Who's going to play Vlad though? Michael Clark Duncan? I don't think so, he needs to be taller than that. I think an unknown could play that part quite easily. It's a very important part in the movie, but it's easier to fill because of the mask and the makeup behind the character.

P.S. Other honorable mentions. Jennifer Love Hewitt from like five years ago, Rachel Bilson, another girl that fits the character physically almost perfectly, but is a little too cutesy as Ryan would say.

Overall I think the movie could be really good if written as well as the comic books and cast appropriately. If Megan Fox acts as well as she did in "Jennifer's Body", she just might be able to pull it off enough to make it a great movie. Let's just hope the stars align and this movie is made with as much care as the comic books. If not, Cassie Hack is going to beat someone down with her baseball bat full of nails. Either that or lesbian kiss the whole film industry, I like the sound of the second one better.

-Michael

This is how you do it!

Holy crap, this video might be long, NOT like my wiener, but this is how you fucking open the world tallest building. I guess if you spend $1.5 billion on it, then it's worth it to blow literally 10 million on the celebration to open it. I was impressed and I don't even like heights.

Trash I read this week

Batman Vs. The Undead
DC Comics
Scripts - Kevin VanHook
Pencils/Cover - Tom Mandrake
22 Pages for $2.99

I don't read Batman at all, so when I saw this title I was intrigued, don't ask me why, but I picked it up. I have to say that I was a little surprised at how crappy this book is. It's not terrible, it's just not really good either. It starts with Bruce giving millions of his hard earned family money to some hospital in New Orleans. But Bruce is really in New Orleans as Batman, looking for some cat named Combs. I have no idea who this character is, but he reminds me of Doktor Sleepless for some reason, besides all the raising of the dead and shit.

So yeah, Batman is there to see what this crazy fucker Combs is doing and he runs into Dimeter the Vampire. He's also hunting Combs for some reason, which I am still not clear on. I do know that he's there to fuck this hot chick for a while, so that rules. If this is something that happened in earlier issues, then I apologize, but in this issue, it's really not addressed.

Combs is in New Orleans for sinister reasons of course. I guess he was released from Arkaham and is still kind of insane, go figure. He's there to raise some dead folks from this museum. He tricks the curator into believing he's some sort of investor, even though he looks SUPER creepy the whole time, with these weird ass glasses on which make his eyeballs look downright full of lunacy. Anyways, Combs kills this fucker and sets about using his body to conjure up some evil mumbo jumbo to raise the dead posing in this museum. Little does he know that Batman and Dimeter are already in the museum on his trail. That's when all hell breaks lose and Combs sends the undead after them for a balls to the wall fight to the death.

This could have been written by a twelve year old. I'm not saying it was, but it could have been. There is no substance in this book that makes me feel like any care was taken to actually write it. It's basic, benign and too straightforward for me. I was expecting something interesting to happen and well it didn't. It's just some crazy fucker raising the dead to fight Batman at this point. Perhaps in later issues we might find out a better reason for him being a huge dickwad, but I won't be sticking around to find out. This is officially off my radar, onto the next book please.

Michael

More Nice Thingys

JACQUES: The Sports Issue, Trailer 2. from Jacques Magazine on Vimeo.

Ummmm....Yeah! This is nice.

Video Game - E3 2010 - AOTS Exclusive

Awesomeness!

Oh my God I was crying watching and listening to this. My fucking stomach hurts and I have nearly pissed myself, but it was funny as hell. Is it weird to laugh at something you said that much? Well if it is, then I am the weirdest person alive. Because my friends, that was Goddamn hilarious and I thank whoever made that with my whole heart. That was AWESOME!



Michael

C2E2 Report, Chronic Listener Style.

A good friend of the show, Keith, sent us this wonderful review of C2E2, which we thought we'd share with you. Thanks for the information and we think you're cute. Note: Ladies he's taken.

A short summary of C2E2, from a short, ugly Jew who only attended Friday and Sunday:

As I trode across the skyway that connected the East Building to the Lakeside Center at McCormick Place, I took in the vast, beautiful skyline of Chicago and smiled; this was a real CITY convention! For too long, the “wizards” of Wizard World had advertised a “Chicago” comic con, and then held it in the far northwest suburbs. The parking was expensive, the show was full of z-grade celebrities and has-beens, the food inside the hall was a giant rip-off and the nearest restaurant was a half-mile walk from the convention center. Now, it was a real Chicago comic con. Of course, if you’re dumb enough to drive to C2E2 the parking is even more brutally expensive. Taking public transportation is easy enough for native Chicagoans, but tourists just may need a degree in engineering to figure out the various schedules and station locations. Other than that, you’re basically stuck taking a taxi or walking a long way from any hotel. Not to mention, McCormick Place is on the wrong side of Lakeshore Drive, and crossing the Drive is like leaping from the Empire State Building – it’s not “impossible” that you’ll survive, but it’s not too likely. Luckily, C2E2 does offer free shuttles to and from select downtown hotels, so savvy and/or intrepid travelers can work out those logistics for themselves.

At any rate, I was looking forward to the show in a big way and I must say that the show came off rather….um…uneventfully. There was nothing particularly wrong with the show, and there was nothing particularly right or revelatory. Admission was five dollars cheaper than Wizard World, all the major publishers were there, there were very good deals to be found by retailers. I myself purchased every hardcover I bought (six in total) for half-off cover price at three different booths. I found almost everything I wanted. There did seem to be a smaller number of retailers than there are at Rosemont, but that may a space issue as I think the floor of the Lakeside Center is smaller than the Rosemont Convention center. There was a pleasant lack of bored, over-surgeried has-been TV and movie “celebrities”. It’s always sad to see a 70-year old Mike Teevee sitting alone at his table with unsold stills and headshots gathering dust in front of him, or a very grandma-looking Margot Kidder straining to hear what fans are saying to her because her hearing just ain’t what it used to be. The artist’s alley was large, with a strong Chicago artist showing. I happened to have a VIP pass so I was able to meet Garth Ennis at his Sunday signing. I mostly made small talk with him and found out that The Boys is going to last for about 35 more issues before it’s done. I got a nifty “Crossed” face mask at that signing as well. All in all, the C2E2 artist’s alley was bigger than the Wizard World alley, but contained about the same caliber of artists. The bigger names at C2E2 are just as hard to see at Wizard World, and this whole idea of selling tickets to get signatures from the big names is really a tough sell for me. I already paid $25 to get in, so why should I pay even more just to get a signature and spend ten seconds chatting with someone who could care less about my existence? The New York Comic Con was the same when it came to exhibitors/publishers/retailers, but the caliber of artists in the NYCC alley was GIGANTIC: Tommy Lee Edwards in one corner, Gene Colan in the next table, Jose Garcia Lopez in the next table, Lee Weeks next to him, Joe Simon at the end. And getting all their autographs was free (with the exception of Jammin’ Gene, who charged a measly $3 for each signature…the guy needs to pay for multiple cataract surgeries, so nut up and pay the man!). WOW! The legends that show up at NYCC aren’t comparable to seeing Alex Ross for the umpteenth time at a Chicago show. We all know he’s a master artist, but who is paying extra to see this guy? You can see him at Chicago comics almost every year for free when he does in-store signings!

Finally, the Marvelman news from Joe Q. was, as usual, cryptic and unsatisfying. Apparently, Marvel feels it’s “very important to present the history of MM by re-printing the early Mick Anglo work in order to introduce the U.S. fans to the ‘rich’ history of the MM character”. “Rich”?!? MM’s early years are about as rich as Shazam’s early years..oh yeah, I guess that’s because early Marvelman fucking IS early Shazam! Apparently, Anglo himself is totally confused by the interest in his work, but if Marvel is giving out royalty checks, Anglo is smart enough to cash ‘em fast. When he was pressed about the more modern MM material and Marvel’s plans for such, Joe Q. cryptically added that “…a publishing plan for the modern material has been set internally, and those details will be revealed in a few months.”

In closing, no major complaints and no major praise. It’s just another very nice convention to attend for Chicago area fans. We should feel lucky that we have two major cons to attend (for the time being, anyways), and I’m very curious to know if Reed Exhibitions is pleased with the revenue and with the notoriously pricey and surly Teamsters Union guys at McCormick Place. There have been several stories in the local news about how McCormick Place has lost a lot of business in the past ten years because of the obstinate dominance of the Teamsters that “help out” with shows at McCormick. In fact, just last week a new board of directors was put in place at McCormick to re-examine the deals they have with the Teamsters Union and try to drum up some more convention business.

Thanks again Keith. Chronic Insomnia can't be bothered to attend shows that directly relate to the content of said show. That would be something only classy, self-respecting shows would do. That and we're not as pretty as you are, so we'd be labeled a freak if we went there. We'd also try and pimp our show in some terribly embarrassing way. Great review my friend.

Digital Comic Books - To Be, Or Not To Be? Is That The Question?

Where have all the good old analog times gone? Where is my VCR? Oh yeah I replaced it with my DVR. Where is my CD player? Oh yeah, I use my iPod all the time now. Where have my local record shops gone? Oh yeah, I buy my new music from iTunes now. Where are my books? Damn I forgot, they’re on my Kindle. It’s a big bad digital world now and if we’re not careful Comic Books are going to die an analog death.

I know it sounds crazy, but as technology expands so does our need for easier ways to get entertainment. Sure we still have CD’s and DVD’s, but more and more we are watching Hulu and On Demand, instead of actually purchasing the content ourselves. Almost every form of media has been digitized in some way or another. Even our newspapers are dying a slow analog death. Do we think something as niche as Comic Books is going to stand a chance when The New York Times is dying? I think not.

Let’s face facts, printing, distributing and paying artists/writers is where our $4 price point in comic books comes from. What if I were to tell you, I could cut out at least two of those costs? Would you be interested? This is why we are paying such a premium price for our stories, it’s not so we can pay the artists more money I can tell you that. Let’s eliminate the need for ink, paper, $1,000,000 printing presses, delivery trucks, gas money for those trucks and the local markup of our Comic Book Shops. If we do this right, we can save tons of money and have a much larger selection of comic books to pick from each week/month. No more delays for holidays, bad weather and printing mistakes.

This way we can concentrate on the artist and the writers and pay them the money they deserve and still get a great deal as the reader. It’s not like we have to digitize the comic books that are coming out, we all know everything is digital now. It’s not like Marvel hand delivers the original artwork and panels to the printer anymore. It’s all done via email or file transfer. The only cost for delivery is the cost of each locations internet connection. Then that digital file is sent to the printing press and out comes Siege #4. Why not just send that digital copy of Siege #4 to and iTunes type store so we can download it for $1.99 or even $.99? It’s because we don’t have a great place to store and read our comic books yet. Until recently that is.

Introducing the iPad and HP Slate. The first of what will surely be many full color high definition pre-made comic book readers. Sure, these devices were NOT intended to be used solely as comic book readers, but they sure seem perfect for the job. The beauty of these devices, no matter how infant the technology might be right now, is they can do so many others things for us, besides show us our comic book collection.

Does this mean that right now we should be giving up on Analog printed comic books, hell no. But it means that we should be preparing for the digital age and get ready to embrace it as a comic book collective. We don’t want to be left hold the bag of shit on this one. Let’s grind down and prepare for the total switch over. Sure this is going to eventually eliminate the need for local comic book shops, but let’s face it, they’re about to die anyways. Readership for comic books is dropping more and more each and every year. We are NOT getting new readers into the market, it’s just too expensive and too much work to get a comic book these days. Driving to the store, picking your books, finding a place to store them in your house and paying a premium price to do all that. For LOTS of people, this is just not worth it. I know many people that would read tons of comic books if it weren’t for all the trouble and pricing. I will use my brother in law as an example on this (I’m sure he’ll appreciate it), but if he could sit at his computer or on his electronic device and pick up comic books like he picks up music, he would read them! I know he would, and so would MANY other people.

The final point I have is, when was the last time anyone used a 35mm camera? Digital is the way to go. We have small devices that can hold tons of information and do so many other things that what they were designed for, that we should take advantage of this and digitize our comic books. This would also allow independent comic book publishers and even individual comic book writers and artist to compete directly with the big boys. There would no longer be this slick veneer of arrogance surrounding the Big Two. All comic books would be created equal, at least on the digital front. As long as the art and the writing was good, it would look just like the junk that Marvel shoves down our throat each month that sucks, and we pay $4 for it.

A device like the iPad is as big as 64GB and a normal 22-28 page comic book takes up about 15mb of space. That means for every GB, we can have roughly 65 comic books on our iPad, that’s nearly 4,000 comic books on an iPad. How many long boxes is that? 200 per box, 20 long boxes and remember each of those comic books needs a board and bag. I think the $600 price for the iPad is pretty cheap when you think about it. That and the iPad can do so much more than just let you read your comic books. It can surf the web, check email, show photos, play music, TV shows, movies and let you read your favorite new novel.

Now as these devices grow and get better, that space will increase. Right now it’s easy to have a 2TB drive at your house, which could store over 120,000 comic books, all in full color high resolution. These can then be transferred just like your iTunes library to your iPad for casual reading. I for one am excited about this revolution of digital comic books. I can carry around my comic books on one magazine sized device and read them in their natural format; one page at a time.

I for one am ready to stop over-paying for my comic books. Am I going to miss the touch and feel of a book, hell yeah I am, but if we don’t do something, we are going to miss more than just the touch of the books, we are going to miss A LOT of new material that just won’t be cost effective to produce for us to read. Yeah we won't have the rare copies of Y The Last Man anymore, but who cares, as far as percentages go, only about 1% of comic books are actually worth keeping in good shape, the others are throw away.

I’m sure Marvel is passing on a ton of books just because they aren’t doing 20,000 copies a month. Take Matt Fractions, The Order, which was canceled because it dipped below 20,000 copies a month. That was a good book, but it suffered from attrition, and died a slow analog death. If we were in the digital age, the number of copies it would need to sell to break even, would be at least ¼ less, if not more.

I hate enviromentalists, but imagine the paper and trees we can save? Imagine how much gas we won't use in our delivery trucks? Imagine the exhaust that these trucks won't create? It's all good across the bag and board.

Embrace the change. I’m getting ready to, so should you.

Michael

Very cool commercial!

I was watching golf tonight and I happened to NOT advance my DVR forward during a commercial break and I am happy I did. This commercial rocks. It's for some stupid investment company, but that's besides the point, it's very cool how they shot this thing. Watch it and tell me it's not cool, I dare you.




Michael