Wednesday, December 10, 2008

With Friends Like Frank...

Look, I love Frank Miller. And Frank loves Will Eisner. Both of these facts are beyond debate. And yet - when I watch the TV spots for Miller's Spirit movie...yeesh.

How exactly does turning Eisner's work into Sin City pay respectful homage to it? It's not that I'm against the idea of stark black/white punctuated with a single obnoxiously bright color. It's been Frank's baby since "Babe Wore Red", and even though I personally think the effect is now overplayed and best laid to bed, I get it for Sin City.

But seriously, how does turning The Spirit into a Sin City knock-off do anything but drink 64 ounces of Gatorade and pee all over Eisner's work? Basically, Frank is saying "I like Eisner's stuff so much, it's deserving of getting scrapped for the Frank Miller treatment!" Blecch. Make it look like Eisner, you arrogant prick!

Cinematography aside, how does anybody watch that guy yell "Somebody get me a tie...and it better be RED!" without laughing about how STUPID it sounds. Who filmed that and said "Cut! Thaaaat's a keeper!" Apparently Frank Miller did.

To reiterate my first point, I do love Frank, the little scamp. But I'm beginning to smell the faint trickle of excrement in the wind. And I think it's that Spirit movie coming soon.

- Ryan

Friday, December 5, 2008

How am I the Biggest Douche Bag?

I am trying to figure out why I am a close second to Dad DiDio in the Douche Bag category. I am not sure I deserve that monocle. Seems like I could be the nicest of the shows hosts. Obviously I am wrong because you as the viewers are always right. I would like to know WHY everyone thinks I am a giant Douche Bag? Is there a specific reason? Is it my grating voice? Is it my large ball sack? I am sure that one of them could be the culprit.

Perhaps I come across as too polite and people aren't used to that due to the fact that Ryan is kind of harsh at times. This is due to his lack of sexual activity. I don't count sex with ones self as actual sex. This could be the reason for his douche baggery. I can't explain mine, other than it's just my o'natural self.


Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The Shakey Shaman Experience

Honestly I thought this show was nearly impossible to watch from beginning to end when seen on TV, but as of last night I can see it's appeal. One of my best friends, Clint, is related to the guitar player/singer in that show. Actually it's Clint's father. I asked a few weeks back if I could come in and see how they do the show each week. I knew it was a live show and that it was a rather big production, but when I got there I realize how small it actually was. Normally the "band" is 5-7 strong but this night they were a few people short. All they had last night were three musicians and the lead singer, Shakey Shaman.

I was roped into being their camera man. I know that I am trained to use all equipment but it wasn't until last night that I was REALLY trained in. I had to operate three cameras throughout the entire show. During the first half hour it was a little bit stressful and I left a few of the cameras in bad positions, but after that I got the hang of it.

Those guys are really out there. Like from the Ninth Dimension and all. Shakey is one individual cat. He can really scream and yell into that microphone. By the end of the evening he was pretty horse. I really think the show is a lot of fun actually. Those guys who work on the show don't take it too seriously and neither should anyone watching it. I really like the way it's nearly totally free form. They have a few taped up lyrics sheets and some scribbled down chords for the basic songs, but after that the motto is just "let it rip and see what happens".

I have been asked to appear next week on the show with my guitar. I think I feel pretty nervous about it too. I know that I can stand there and play what those guys are playing but it's still a live show and that freaks me out a little bit. I think it's time to bust my "live show on cable access" cherry. And what better guys to bust it then the gentle yet energetic Shakey Shaman Crew. Personally it's going to be a highlight of my life and who knows, I might become a member of the show and be welcomed back at any time.

The NWCT team is like a second family in many ways. I am very glad to be a part of it. I should have done this a long time ago. Ryan and I could have been doing this since 1991 or so. We just missed the boat until now. We're going to start making up for lost time I think. So come sail away with us. Whether it's in the ninth dimension with Shakey Shaman or with our own show which will debut sometime in August (possibly LATE July). Hope to see you all then.


Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Chronic Insomnia has a Green Light!

As of May 31st, 2008 Ryan and I have a green light to start producing a show for Cable Access channel 19 or 20. This happens on the heels of our show reaching it's 1 year anniversary on Almost 50 "Issues" have been released as of this writing and we intend on doing more Podcasts into the future to compliment our video show which we will do once a month.

The look of the show and the promos for the show are in the works. We have some photos to take and some other things to smooth out but all in all a lot of the ideas for the show are still locked in our brains someplace. Ryan and I will be sitting down a few times in the next month to figure out the shows agenda and content. The live action video show will be based somewhat on the show we already do, with a few of the segments carrying over.

Market Spotlight, Time Machine, Chronic News, Next Weeks Books (Next Months Books) and possibly Whore of the Week should continue is some fashion or another. We are looking into new segments like Preorder Previews or What's new at DCBS? We can show the actual website on air and show us shopping at the same time.

Events are unfolding to bring a live action video show to our audience sometime in early August with the show continuing through the rest of the year at a once a month pace. We would like to bring two shows a month to the network but with fear of content being subpar, we want to give our viewers our best each time. So that means for now we are going to keep the show at one hour per month of the best stuff we can do. All killer, no filler.

Keep coming back here for more updates as we know more ourselves. We'll see you on the small screen soon enough. Don't be frightened by our extremely white skin, slightly bloated faces that always seem to need a shave. We are harmless.


Friday, May 16, 2008

Girls of Chronic Insomnia

Here are a few of the women that really wanted to be a part of the show but we had to turn them down cause Ryan has given up on women and I am married. It's too bad cause a few of them are pretty decent looking if you like that sort of thing.

Kate Beckinsale is not bad looking and she was all about being on the cable access show but we had to say no cause she was so hot for Ryan and he's retired.

Rachel Bilson was all over me and I am pretty sure that my wife would not appreciate that in the long run. She was willing to literally do anything to be on the show but sadly she will have to find another cable access show with two morbidly obese men hosting it. A sad day for sure.


Thursday, April 24, 2008

The future of The Chronic Insomnia Podcast

For the next few weeks Chronic Insomnia will go on like always, and even with the cable access show you still might get a bi-weekly show. I guess it all depends on how much time the TV show takes out of our busy lives. I would love to continue doing the audio show, because at this stage with the show it only takes about an hour to record a 45 minute show, which is pretty easy and could be something we do on the side. Who knows. But for right now expect the show to at least go through it's year anniversary and beyond. I would venture to say that every once in a while you might see a new episode pop up when you least expect it.

As of right now we are not pushing the cable access show too much cause we are not sure of the restrictions we might have with doing a TV show. We might even be able to podcast our show is some way. That would be the ultimate and if that happens then you will see us again for sure.

So for right now, all of our 15 loyal listeners should just keep their ears open on the audio podcast and enjoy the show. Please take a look at our Blog also.


Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Northwest Cable Access Journey!

Two ass monkeys and a camera? Does the world need that? Probably not. However that isn't stopping us from taking that journey at the end of May. Northwest Cable Access has allowed us to create a television show which could probably spell the end of that network if they let our leash out too long. I know back in the day we would have pushed the boundaries of ANY network, even Comedy Central late at night, but today we have become more reserved and intellectual...oh man even I can't type that with a straight face. Who am I kidding? We're still just as fucked up as we were back in the day. The only thing different is we are more elegant and sophisticated. I think you could say we have more style too. If you are a listener to the podcast then you know we already exude that weekly.

Look for something on Cable Access sometime in June or July of 2008. Right now we are looking at a Bi-weekly show with a lot of the same topics as our current audio podcast Chronic Insomnia, which you can hear every Tuesday afternoon.